Benedict and Parable, two men in matching hoodies, are standing in front of a projection of a big door with knapsacks on their laps. Benedict is strumming his guitar. He starts playing Pachabel’s Canon before breaking off into Eminem’s ‘Without Me’. Parable raps along with Benedict giving back-up
Benedict: Guess who’s back?
Back again?
Parable mimes cruxification
Benedict: He is back
Tell a friend
Parable: I’ve created a blockbuster, ‘cause nobody wants to see Moses no more
They want Jesus, he’s chopped liver
Well if you want Jesus, this is what I’ll give ya’
A little bit of wine mixed in with some hard wafer
Some requests I mix in with my bedtime prayer
And hope to Jesus that God will care
About my home loans, and tax information
Wearing jewellery of the poor guy’s cruxification
Now you waited this long but you never read the full story
All so not to end up in purgatory
And sure we could just sit here and hope
But just for good measure, call up the damn Pope
So Dan Brown won’t let me be
Or let me be me, or Christianity
I didn’t even like Mel Gibson on the Silver Screen
It was just so devoid without He
So Catholics, give sin to liberalism
And Protestants, come on and preach creationism
It’s not really about a circumcision
Get your best priests out, dressed and ready
And stop all the townsfolk yelling ‘it’s a Paddie!’
Together: Now this looks like a job for Christ
And everybody, he’s got it right
He has no proof but the dude can fly
And you’ll go to Heaven when you die
Now this looks like a job for Christ
And everybody, he’s got it right
He has no proof but the dude can fly
And you’ll go to Heaven when you die
Parable: It’s a prayer, I go tit for tat with
Any Protestant or Catholic
Unless you’re Mormon, in which case don’t be too sick
When you find out that your bicycle’s been nicked
And Book of Genesis? You can be stomped by menaces
In popularity, about the same as a Dentists
It’s a testament too old, excursion
It’s over; it’s even in the Hebrew version
Now let’s go, just hand over your Jews,
Your Athiests, Agnostics, you choose
Because if you don’t, they’ll be sent to the Blues
In addition, they’ll miss out on the child abuse
But sometimes, I do insist,
Everybody just wants to talk about the Exorcist
Well if you really must persist
With demons, well here’s Miley Cyrus
No we’re not the first kings of really bad Gospel
It’s so bad we might end up in Hell
But maybe if we put it on CD as well
We’ll all see our bank accounts excel
Hey! There’s a concept that works
Except for Mormons, but we all know they’re jerks
But no matter how many priests musically
Are gifted, it’s all about He
Together: Now this looks like a job for Christ
And everybody, he’s got it right
He has no proof but the dude can fly
And you’ll go to Heaven when you die
Now this looks like a job for Christ
And everybody, he’s got it right
He has no proof but the dude can fly
And you’ll go to Heaven when you die
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